Why are we all experiencing so much reservation and angst over committing to events, classes, dinners, or other people? Did the pandemic isolation change human psyche? The new narrative is that “no one will commit.” But wait! REALTORS® always commit, don’t we?
Remember way back, say four years ago, when we did the bake sales, the fairs, pool parties, birthday parties, church events, client appreciation parties, philanthropic fundraisers, social events, volunteered, entertained regularly, and kept up with work events, professional development, and our businesses? It seemed like every REALTOR® was involved in the community and extracurricular activities along with business. However, more and more we seem to be reluctant to decide about any social commitments.
The old saying is “give it to a busy person if you want to get it done”, so why are we all so tired, unhappy, and resentful about committing? We are REALTORS®, that’s what we do, that’s “Who We R,” right?
Recently, it’s like “commitment” became a new frontier and we don’t want to explore it. Sorry Captain Kirk, we’re not ready to engage. When surveyed, a sample set of the American public admitted to an answer of “Maybe” when asked to commit to an event, when really meaning “NO.” They said they anticipated they wouldn’t want to go when the time came, or they’d be tired, or overworked. However, they did admit that most of the time when they did follow through on a commitment, they had a very enjoyable experience and were glad they attended.
So, how do we control this narrative about not wanting to commit? How do we plan something and get attendance? We examine the why. That’s the buzz word these days, right? Know your “why”.
Seems easy…. if committing fits in with your business and personal life plan, then commit. If it doesn’t, politely decline. For instance, I am not a runner, so an invite to run a 5K (even for a charity) would be a hard “no” (although I might donate funds to the charity) whereas, being a writer, an invitation to help young authors as a panelist for a seminar would be a “yes’. It fits for me. It advances what I am passionate about, helps others and is part of my overall plan.
As REALTORS®, we have certain absolutes. We absolutely must renew our license, we absolutely must take continuing education, and we absolutely must develop business. “Why” you do those absolutes, could be anything. It might be family, freedom, experiences, to be in control of your time, to really help other people. Whatever the “why” is, the absolutes must fit in, and the additional commitments flow around all of it.
I like to use the science experiment of volume to illustrate the idea. Imagine a clean empty mayonnaise jar. There are three piles next to it. Rocks, hundreds of pebbles and three cups of sand. The jar represents you. First, fill the jar with the rocks. These are things that get you up in the morning, your “whys”. The glass is full right? But you must complete the absolutes, so add as many pebbles as you can, which represent what you absolutely must do to keep moving forward I the career. Oooh, now it’s full, right. Hold on a minute, what if you need to add some commitments in that jar, where does it fit in?
Commitments are those other things that are important to you —networking, fitness, church, hobbies, travel, friends, volunteering, philanthropy, health, home, finances, fun. How in the world will you fit all that in? How will you be able to commit? Dump the sand in, until it is full. Sand fills up every crevice around the rocks and pebbles. Now you are a whole well-rounded person. Able to commit with a defined purpose.
We can’t do it all of course, but you can do more than you think. For each item in front of you determine if it is a WHY, an ABSOLUTE or a COMMITMENT. If it works in your overall plan, then it’s a go, if not it’s a no. No excuses to make. No guilt to carry. We want to avoid over-extending ourselves and rather living life fully, with experiences that matter.
So, let’s break the cycle in 2023 and commit or decline with grace, dignity, and confidence. Adopt the phrase “Best ME in ’23.” Have a great year!
Lisa Martin
Chief Executive Officer
REALTOR®, Paralegal, Mediator, RCE, GRI, AHWD, GREEN, E-PRO, RED-B, CMLS I & II
Boise Regional REALTORS®
